What is religious trauma?

Religious trauma is an emerging term that humans across the globe are applying to their experiences attempting to recover from harmful, controlling religious cultures.

If you’ve been hurt by a religious group and have just strung those two words together today, congratulations.

You’ve found the entryway into a world of humans who will believe you when you say religion caused you harm. You can find us all over social media, on a variety of human services pages, in the depths of reddit, and on the margins of academia, attempting to legitimize our experiences in places of power.

It’s also possible you’re trying to find a test or quiz for religious trauma or religious trauma syndrome, some proof that what you’re experiencing is real. If you’ve come from a toxic religious culture, the urge to search the internet for someone that can tell you you’re not making up your pain is years in the making. Theological gaslighting leads to control and is a key component of many toxic religious cultures.

Unfortunately, academia barely accepts the existence of religious trauma and there is much work to be done before an expert can verify anything for you.

So here comes the first step in your healing process: you get to believe yourself.

Religious trauma is real and can cause physical harm.

Harm does not have to look physical to cause physical symptoms. It does not have to look violent to hurt like hell. Harm can be subtle. Control can come under the guise of love. Indoctrination can sound like “just telling it like it is.” If you’re experiencing pain from past religious experiences, cultures, groups, beliefs, and you’re wondering if you’re overreacting I’m here to tell you that you’re not. And if you’re kicking yourself for staying in a toxic religious group for so long. I want you to know that it is not your fault.

That said, it’s worth differentiating between a few terms. Religious trauma got you to this page, but it is likely that religious abuse is what started the whole thing. There are a bunch of technical ways to describe religious abuse, but in plain language, this is how I’d put it:

Someone or some group took advantage of your spirituality, your inherent humanness, for their own gain. Gain can be control over your time, control over your money, control over your belief system including political action, control over your emotions, your sexuality, your parenting, your skillset.

And that control is often gained using fear. That’s where the trauma comes in. Toxic religious cultures manufacture threats, scare humans with them, and then resolve the fear with involvement in their religion’s aims. Religious trauma is when the control techniques from the toxic religious culture stick around in your body even after you’ve left.

If you were to ask me over a cup of tea what religious trauma is, I’d tell you:

“Religious trauma is when your body believes in hell longer than your mind does.”

To be a smidge more technical:

Religious trauma occurs when a person’s body is overwhelmed by perceived threats created by toxic religious environments, causing them to respond to everyday life as if their life (or eternal life) is in danger – even if they are no longer involved in the toxic religious environment or believe its tenets anymore.

Religious trauma operates in the body similarly to C-PTSD, but the content of your perceived threats will involve religious ideas in addition to relational trauma. It’s also worth noting that the societal impact of being harmed by religion makes religious trauma unique.

Religious trauma can look like:

A constant hum of anxiety underneath everyday life
Feeling worthless, broken, or as if there’s something inherently wrong with you
Feeling like an imposter in groups, while simultaneously not trusting groups
Feeling unsafe in relationships unless there is some kind of exchange for love and belonging
Feeling numb both emotionally and physically because you’re compelled to attend to other people’s needs or to suppress unpleasant emotions
Being afraid to name or even be aware of what you need in relationships
Fearing spiritual demise (whether a ruined life or the fires of hell or the isolation of outer darkness) throughout everyday life
Having an abusive image of God that may continue to haunt your decision-making after leaving a toxic religious group
Obsessing over proving that religion is bad in order to feel safe not returning
Fearing pleasure (including sexual pleasure)
Constantly wondering if you’re being selfish or “not open enough”
Being afraid of learning more about religious trauma or how your religion might not be the one true way after all

These are common things I’ve noticed both in myself and clients, but there are an infinite number of ways humans have survived toxic religious cultures, so this list is not exhaustive nor is it clinical. The bottom line is that if you’ve gotten into the habit of doing or not doing something to feel safe from a violent religion, and you’re still involuntarily living that pattern even though you’ve left, you’re probably dealing with religious trauma.

And if any or all of this is true for you, I want you to know:

There is nothing wrong with you.
You have over adapted to survive an impossible situation.

Our bodies do not know the difference between real and perceived threats. That means every violent threat, every promise of eternal damnation or disapproval and abandonment by your religious community, whether real or not was real to your body.

And you survived it all.

You are worth believing. I am so glad you’re here.

Feel free to peruse the blog as you look for answers and companionship. You’re not alone and it does get better. If you’d like to talk to a live human, everyone is welcome to schedule a free 30 minute consult with me. Human connection is one of the most potent sources of healing we have. I’d love to hear more of your story.

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